Awkward Silences

Two months ago my biggest complaint was in being surrounded by a million people yet rendered mute by my lack of Chinese. Now that I'm learning more and more Chinese this isn't so much of a problem anymore.

Now I find the awkward silences sneaking in from an unexpected source. Other foreigners.

Last week, Chris and I boarded a nearly empty train and sat directly across from a guy who was a dead ringer for an American. Silence ensued.

Barrier number one: the iPod. It's hard to strike up a conversation with a body that has noisy plugs in its ears.

Barrier number two: While I feel that I automatically have a connection with this other person because we are both foreign, I cannot assume that this person feels the same way. Do they really want me invading their airspace with idle chatter just because there's a chance that we both might know English.

Barrier number three: We are in transit. On the train, off the train. Here for six months, here on vacation. How much conversation can you have with a person in passing. Is it worth unplugging your ears for a couple of minutes?

This random passing of people-who-might-speak-english-because-they-look-like-Americans occurs several times a week. Nine times out of ten, sideways glances and awkward silence connect us like static.

Today I saw iPod Train Station Boy in my supermarket. He was in front of me on the escalator... ears all plugged up. We passed in the cleaning supply isle. He took the checkout beside me and I followed him home. He lives across the street, no I wasn't stalking.

Each time we crossed paths I felt like we were two giant elephants in one tiny room filled with Chinese people. Everyone was staring at us and we both pretended the other wasn't there.

This refusal to talk even though we undoubtedly speak the same language really bothers me. There wasn't so much as a nod or smile or a second of eye contact between the two of us and it was just as much my fault as it was his.

Next time, I say hello. Stuffed ears or not.