By this, conquer.

In China, success is never trivial and failure is inevitably epic. In a world where easy solutions are as foreign as the food, I have learned not to take anything for granted.

Take heat, for example. For the past month I have come home, dressed in multiple layers of clothing, and encased myself in a sleeping bag in order to watch a couple of hours of television each night. Then, just a few days ago, I had a vision. It said, "By this, conquer."

With the words of Constantine the Great driving me forward I took this seemingly useless air conditioner remote and, in conjunction with some serious googling, squeezed heat out of what I thought was a machine which could only be used as a device for torture this time of year.

I danced, clapped, giggled, and squealed with delight as warm air filled my bedroom for the first time in weeks. Yes, the heat will be turned on tomorrow, but for the past few days I have absolutely relished the warmth that I, The Conqueror of the Air Conditioner Remote, have provided.

I am also the proud owner of this beautiful and bountiful boxed set AKA "The Blizzard Box" as entitled on the side:

By this (Diablo II) I plan to conquer the Chinese Language. Let's face it, I've played this game for hundreds of hours. If it doesn't help me with my reading, nothing can. And I won't feel guilty playing it for hours, technically... I'm studying! Oh, and by the way, it only cost me ten bucks!!! Three games, all of the expansions included, and a cinematic trailer for Starcraft II. Nice! (Also pictured, Astro Boy, a magic remote, and my touch lamp Oliver.)